Far too often I’ve hear people say that they still love a person despite that they’ve broken up, separated or divorced. If you’ve been in any type of serious relationship, especially marriage, then it’s probable to state that one still would love that other person even after a break up. However, there are circumstances that force separations, and result in less favorable feelings towards any individual.
In most cases, I’ve noticed that separation could’ve been avoided, but people forget one simple element in a relationship, LIKE. Yep, it’s like that keeps you sustained in a relationship. Love bonds you together as a couple, but like keeps it going.
Like is a word that may be used in various parts of speech, but the focus for us is the verb form of like, which means to take pleasure in, fondness of someone, and find agreeable or congenial. This is what most people tend to forget to do....”like” the other person. When you cease to like the person you’re in a relationship with is when the issues and problems arise.
Many believe that love is a stronger form of like. Not the Humps; we believe that our initial attraction to one another was really lust. Yes, lust. It’s was our physical qualities that we first took notice in that made both of us curious about the other individual. This is the case for most couples, it’s your physical qualities that make you want to get to know someone, which is very normal. Most people have some type of physical attraction to a person that makes them want to know more about him or her. That’s what Ero’s-in Greek mythology-Westerner’s know him as Cupid, shoots his arrow. We become love struck with desire, and by the way that’s actually what Cupid means. Desire.
If the desire is favorable between the two, then later that lust yields to like. Provided that the connection was strong enough for the two, then like kicks in and takes over. When you’ve found that you take pleasure in one another’s company, enjoy being around each other, spending time together, and you find yourself missing, wanting, and lusting for the other person when you’re not together then it’s safe to say you do like that person.
This is the element that we’ve found is missing from many relationships, especially marriages. Eventually, you’ll grow into loving each other. Most couples forget that you still have to keep liking each other. How do you keep liking each other? The very things that attracted you to that person are the very things that will keep you liking that other person.
In other words, in a marriage you never stop dating your wife, and wives shouldn’t stop doing all the things you did when you were dating for your husband. That’s what many people tend to dismiss after they’ve fallen in love. You know the nursery rhyme...”Sitting in the tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g. First comes love, then comes marriage. Then comes the baby carriage. During all of the stages in building a life together as a family, couples forget to keep liking each other. You can’t get lost in family life, careers, and all that comes along with life, and forget to keep the fire going. Part of the fire is keep dating; this is when you liked each other.
When you keep the idea of dating as in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship then liking each other is easy. I remember when my Grandmother realized I was rapidly fallen in love, she said to me don’t start anything that you can’t keep doing. That was the best advice I had heard relationship wise. From that prospective, I didn’t start anything I knew I wasn’t willing to continue doing. Keep that concept in mind in your relationships.
Remaining in the “like” with your mate isn’t as hard as you may think. Spending quality time together without the children is a good way to start. Both of you should engage in activities that you both will enjoy, as well as each person becoming involved in activities your mate typically enjoys. For example, ladies, if you’re not a sports fan then try watching a sporting event with your hubby. Maybe he enjoys shooting pool, but you don’t. Spend an evening shooting pool together. You’ll become apart of something he enjoys; you may even enjoy it. Men if your lady enjoys visiting art museums or galleries, go with her. Maybe she’s attends a particular work out class, go with her. You just may enjoy it, and not to mention you’ll get a good workout.
Spending time together without the children allows you to reconnect and stay connected with your mate. Besides remaining connected in your relationship, quality time keeps you liking each other. Theses are the date nights/days you have to incorporate into your life. With all the hustle and bustle of everyday life couples forget to have fun together. Having fun together keeps you “hot” for your mate. We all know, well if you didn’t allow me to tell you, when you’re “hot” for your mate the sex life is great. Couples that have sex frequently tend to have a closer relationship than couples that don’t.
Life is busy and there’s always something to do. So, you have to begin with making your relationship with your mate a priority and not take it for granted. Too many times people take for granted they’re in a relationship, and they’ll always be in that relationship. That’s not necessarily true, especially if you’re not building upon the foundation of the relationship. It’s just like a house; building a house begins with a strong foundation, but you’re always adding improvements and making adjustments to your home for aesthetic purposes as well as making your home more pleasurable to live in. Your relationship isn’t any different; if you want a successful relationship you never cease to make changes, adjustments and improvements to make things better for both people.
Far too often people get comfortable and don’t put in the work it takes to sustain a marriage. It’s like the old addage, “Anything worth having is worth working hard for.” Don’t take your mate for granted and get in your comfort zone that he/she will always be there. Firstly, life’s too short and you must cherish the days you have with your spouse, and love one another like it’s the last time you’ll ever be together.
Blessings,
Eva
Loved this!!!
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